Ozzie presents his reviews of some of today's hottest movies. You can listen to his reviews by either subscribing to the podcast or clicking on the "DOWNLOAD REVIEW" links next to each individual movie one-sheet below.
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Ozzie's BONUS reviews!
Ozzie sings The National Anthem
Ozzie sings for Ozz Fest
Ozzie reviews The Ten Commandments miniseries
Ozzie reviews the Brett Michaels sex tape
Ozzie and Tommy Chong
Ozzie reads from "Two and a Half Men"
Ozzie In Vegas - His review of the Blue Man Group
Oscar Picks from Ozzie.
Ozzie and Jimmy Kimmel read Pulp Fiction.
Ozzie reviews the SuperBowl commercials.
Ozzie reviews the SuperBowl halftime show.
Ozzie reviews the Grammy Awards. One of two parts.
Ozzie reviews the Grammy Awards. Two of two parts.
Ozzie reviews the 2006 Winter Olympics.
Ozzie Reviews Hustler's Most Expensive Porn Movie.
Ozzie reads from The DaVinci Load.
You, Me and Dupree Starring Owen Wilson, Kate Hudson, Matt Dillon. Directed by Anthony Russo, Joe Russo.
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Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest Starring Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley. Directed by Gore Verbinski.
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Superman Returns. Staring Brandon Routh, Kate bosworth, Kevin Spacey. Directed by Brian Singer.
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A Prairie Home Companion Starring Woody Harrelson, Tommy Lee Jones, Kevin Kline. Directed by Robert Altman.
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Da movie dat I saw was A Prade Home Companion. Da movie es stars Woody Harrinson es Doosty, Lily Tomly es Rhonda Johnson, Tommy Lee Jones es assmang, Meryl Streep es Yolanda Johnson, Kevin Kline es Guy Noyer, ang Lindsey Lohan es Lola Johnson, shes de cutest in de movie. This film es history for one big famous show after tirty-two yer in de air finishes, one night in Sampow Minnesota. All de fans fit into da Figeral Theter to see de famous show. Dis show is controversial ang improvision. De radio staion is sold to a conglomerat. I learned two tings in dis movie: One, everyone has der time to die ang you can refuse ang second what de elephant asks de naked man. De movie had too much country music.
In da end A Prade Home Companion lef this review cole.
The Omen Starring Predrag Bjelac, Carlo Sabatini, Bohumil Svarc. Directed by John Moore.
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The Break-Up Starring Vince Vaughn, Jennifer Aniston. Directed by Peyton Reed.
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Da movie dat I saw was De Break Up. Es a staring Vince Bown es Gary Grobowski, Jennifer Aniston es Brock Mayer, Jon Favreo es Jonny O, ang Joey Lauren Agams es Maddy. De Break Up es a classic feel of de people with something in common. Gary es de classic male shovanist, machista, who es not tinking about her opinion. He living in underwear and socks, ang drink from glass cup, wit play bideo games all day, ang no helping to clean around de condo. Dis leads to De Break Up.
Mine favorite part is when Brock uses it against him to fic the problem. She walked naked to get de attention. Dis movie I will not tell you the ending.
In da end De Break Up lef this review cole.
X-Men 3: The Last Stand Starring Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Ian McKellen. Directed by Brett Ratner.
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Da movie dat I saw dis Memorial Day weekend was X-Mang, the Last Astand. Es a stars Hugh Hackman as Hogan Warverine, Halle Barry es Orroro Mundro, Storm. And Ian Makellen as Magneeto. Essmen tree da last astand about de new superheroes mutant with extranamental powah. Eric magneeto look for de supermasia powah in da back side of de film. Professor Sharle Asaviar eh de good guy wit absolue cantrol. Jean coming back from de dead and kill Cyclop. I thin later, kill Professor Asaviar.Is a fantastic film, with extravagan special effect eh sound.My favora part was Magneeto make connection from Golden Gate to Alcatraz. I never walk Alcatraz, I never see bridge, and de people destroy for film.
Final thoughts: The movie left dis reviewer cole.
The Da Vinci Code Starring Tom Hanks, Audrey Tautou, Ian McKellen. Directed by Ron Howard.
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Da movie dat I am reviewing today es de Da Vinci Code. Da movie es staring Tom Hanks es Robert Landon. Audrey Tautu es Sofie Nevu. Ian McKallen es Sr Ley Tabing. An Paul Bettaning es Silas, the bad guy.
Tom Hanks es famous zymology professor, helping in de investigation in murder of elderly curater of de Lovere. The curater es marked wit several satanic zymology. Everything es different alley, leading to hot sex wit Mary Madolin. Dis es de problem, all dis for just discribing having sex wit Mary Madolin, and have dat dauter. All to save de royle blood.
Mine favorite part es whin Tom Hanks and de lady are being following by de police in a little roch car.
De Da Vinci Code lef the review cole.
Poseidon Starring Josh Lucas, Kurt Russell, Jacinda Barrett. Directed by Wolfgang Peterson.
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Da movie that I saw ang refew today es Posidon. The star Joshe Lucis es Dilon Jungs. Kur Roosel es Ran Ranci. Jacine Dabarete es Magie, the mother to the child. Da Rishard Dryfoos es Rishard Nelson, da old guy makin all de paper. Posidon is de first movie in history to pass up the bast sellar to da same name, Posidon.
Is bout a lucsury trasatliantic vacation ship over de north atlantic decen, wit amost tree thousand passengar. A small group of surviers, they ave to fight to stay alive. Da movie started wit eigt people an finsh wit only six people. Five adult an one child. I sarteted to feel too many lives. You see lot of people pushing with thousand gallon of water, in one loby in one ship an no body helping. An no scrach, no leshon on de skin. Los of false stoff, its B.S.
My favorit par of de movie, wen Dilone Jungs, played by Jorshe Lucis, uses da fire hose and swings over de water, wit the fire.
In de end the Posidon lef this review cole.
Mission: Impossible III Staring Tom Cruise, Ving Rhames, Keri Russell, and Philip Seymour Hoffman. Directed by J.J.Abrams.
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Da movie dat I saw dis weekend was Mission Impossible Three. The movie es star Tom Cruise is Ethin Hung, Felex Saymore Haustmond as Owen Dalyoun, Ving Rameez is Luther Esdrinkel, Villy Crewdup es Agant Jon Muscraday, Michelle Monagah es Julia. Mission Impossible three lackd an intreging istory over the lot that is the rabbits food, the rabbit food is the information the eseaqaula, the mafia, and underworld. Ian Ethan Hung
Er recued again for the secreb serbiss, he broken the honeymong womeng to go to italy inside the vadicun. He make contact to his uctect his wah felix seymore hoffmung, who is is the bad guy who have da rabbit foot in the portifolli. Etan and his crew kidnap owen to process him wit the lawd. One part of the movie is allmos the replica ya know to True Lies, wit Arnold Swartsinager, with the same missile, the same action, and detruction in da bridge. My forvorite par isin the special in da badican, yo know with the, the cable, you know the walkin on the wall, and beddygood you know, this par of the movie.
In all Mission Impossible lef this reviewer cole.
Stick It Starring Jeff Bridges, Missy Peregrym, Vanessa Lengies, Nikki Soohoo and Maddy Curley. Directed by Jessica Bendinger.
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Di movie dat I saw dis weekeng was es Stickky , is a star Missy Peregrym es Haley, Banessa Leahees es Joanne, Jeff Brigit es Boor Viccckerman, Nikki Soohoo es Wei Wei, an Maddy Courley es Mina. Es Stickky is a fill about the rabel girl witha no compleeeet the life to adifforont shade. The deveopmont,and the general function from the compliment, disaplin, en caractter. For me, this movie is one classic B.S. In one occasion you saw a mound olimpic serimony somebody, somebody make eh annuction das wha dey use, to national lavor. Is a funny movie, is no real, is a porallly vhersion for the coompatition. And the olimpic thing, and the united state of America, my fourifit part was the eng when I left the theeatre,
In the end es Stictit, es Stickit lef this reviewer cole.
The Sentinel Starring Michaell Douglas and Kiefer Sutherland. Directed by Clark Johnson.
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The movie that I saw this weeking was the Sentinel estarring Michael Douglass es Pete Whatgarrinson, Kayfur Sooterlund es David Breckenridge, Eva Longoria es Jill Marin, Kim Bassinger es Sarah Ballentine and Martin Donivan is William Monrose, the traigor. Di fil es based en the schwell to the northa of the guy who sabed the fly the President of America Mr. President Ronald Regan 20 year ago. Pete Whatgarrinson is supposed to be the truth President guy, he is the last line of defeng in the secret service. He is the most decorated aging in the history he is also an adulterer. He maked sex with the first lady and the sancho guy. My favorite part you know is when he used his knowledge and skill to prove his innocent, he need to find the traigor and the real group the assassin.
In closing, The Sentinel left this reviewer cold.
Ice Age: The Meltodown Starring Ray Romano and John Leguizamo. Directed by Carols Sladanha.
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Di movie that I saw was Ice Age: The Meltdown, its estar the voice of of Ray Romano is Malfred, Manny the Big Mamooth Big Elephant. John Legizamo es Sid, Dennis Larry is Diego, Queen Latifah is Ellie, Josh Pet is Eddie, and Jay Leno is Fastoni. The movie is funny, fantastic and comedy kids family animation and seqial fil. Ice Age one 2002 and Ice age 2 2006, the movie is animated fil en the prehistoric times in the Valley is Melting. The three heroes Manny, Sid and Diego helped the Mamooth Ellie. Ohot personally identification trauma problem she think she is apostle. And the two brothers apostle crash and eddie are together. My favorite part you know is when scat the squirrel satted the nut from the piranas.
In the end, Ice Age: The meltdown left this reviewer Ice Cold.
Basic Instinct 2 (2006) Starring Sharon Stone, David Morrissey, Charlotte Rampling. Directed by Michael Caton-Jones.
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The movie I saw was Basic Intincts 2, it estar Shadowen Stone es Katherine Trammel, David Morrisay es Doctor Michael Glass, Charloette Rampling es Doctor Melane Gargosa. It’s the follow the movie to Basic Intints. Basic Intincts 2 es based in the life story one best selling one kind crime novelist Katherine Trammel at the same time she is also the psychopata model and mysterious lady. She increase the intrigue in the mind to the criminal phychiactric, Michael Glass. Katherine enjoy the Sado Masochist Sex. Katherine maked Michael Glass do all the model in the fil, she increase the suspense with the trauma. My best part is when Doctor Michael has sex with Katherine Trammel, its really wild.
Final thoughts: In the end of the day, Basic Intincts left this reviewer cold.
Inside Man (2006) Starring Denzel Washington and Clive Owen. Directed by Spike Lee.
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The movie I esaw Inside Mang, Denzel Washington is detective Kay Frasier, Olive Owen is Danton Brussell, Julie Foster is Melanie White. Dis fil is about one financial institooshun in Wall Street Branch, for four guy that are associated. Is a fantastic fil because is alsaw AK 47, these people killed and the full attention and suspense for the New York Police Department. In the end the moral charisma to the bank robber with the hostay. Nobody dead, nobody hur, no bad guy is hurt police show malbuse and suspense. What the guy taked the loot inside in the firewall over one week period. Ollie diamong they haved a security box, the owner with the name Arthur Keyes has the secret in side the box you know, the box number 262. My best part is when Russell get out the firewall and almost outed to the closet, you know, the gay guy out of the closet, he went out to the branch when the same time the police coming in and him collected the body, you know with the police guy. This pulled a little rug you know in the package and the rug is diamond. And his fracio you know upset the diamond only for the future wive.
Final thoughts: Inside Man left this reviewer cold.
V for Vendetta (2005) Starring Natalie Portman, Hugo Weaving. Directed by James McTeigue.
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Good Morning. The move that I saw was V for Bandetta. Which is a fantastic fil estarrring Jugo Wibbing es V, Natalie Portman es Ennie Hammond, Esdifferent Reia es Finsh, the guy you know the secret forg and John Horse es Adam Saller. V for Bandetta es based in real to set the city free from corruption, oppression and death. So in the beginning the movie es set to the futurist landscape in absolute veting would a young woulman Ennie Halmond is saved by the evil mastermind named V. We going out the attack be the corrupt government forces this enfore the law that’s is calle jello curfait. So she becomes surrounded a they try to wrap her boob right before they do, V coming to her rescue. The movie remember me the time you know the torture, the corruption you know the people, you know my friend disappear the people kill her, later ask me who are you. Yeah remember me Nicaragua the Arrira forces found me and tortured me, they physical aboose me and asking me a thousand questions they want let go a long time for me and because the memories, V for Bandetta left this reviewer cold.
Final thoughts: The Film Left the Reviewer Cold.
The Shaggy Dog (2006) Starring Tim Allen, Kristin Davis. Directed by Brian Robbins.
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The mobie that I esaw was the Chaggy Dog. Ting Allen estar es Dabie Douglas and Chaggy Dog. Kristin Dabies star es Rebecca Doublas, Danny Glober es Danking Hollister and Robert Downey Junior is Marcos Cossak. Cole was the name the real dog di play Shaggy. Thie fil es family comedy for Disney is a fantastic transformation from one human being to a big dog Shaggy. The dog is antica espace dog dag the three hundred year ol. Bery funny in the time you see the time you see the Shaggy dog the meditation with the mong in the temple, you know the Shaolin. The Shaggy dog have the power of the eternal life. My favorite part was when the Shimpansee saved the Shaggy dog by electrocuting the doctor that they were going to put the Shaggy Dog asleep.
Pretty In Pink (1986) Starring Molly Ringwald, Harry Dean Santon, Jon Cryer. Directed by John Hughes.
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Good Morning. The movie is Pretty in Ping. Its estar Molly Ringwal as Andy. John Cryer is Duckie, Andiew McCartney es Blang, and James Espader is Estaeph. The fil es basa en college and the basic socio economic prolem in the historic rival between rich and poor tenish estudents. In the end you know the triumph is love. Is the fil Andie is the poor girl we are wish to enjoy the prom party with somebody lovely. The rish guy Blang is her boyfriend and Esteph is the other rich boy and his is bery bad. Sincely she is poor Andie moves maka her dress for the prom, a dress from a friend a dress the her father bata to her, she may a beautiful ping dress dat is the reason the movie Is called pretty in ping. My favorite part is when she go to the prom alone and she find Duckie. Andies etarsa ready to hair date. Once she a Duckie enter da prom she see her boyfriend Blang and Duckie this can belong together. Duckie tell Andie to go hava good time, its only one time the prom party.
In summation, Pretty in Ping left this reviewer cold.
Crash (2004) Starring Matt Dillon and Thandie Newton. Directed by Paul Haggis
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The movie I saw is Crash. The director, Paul Haggis. Sandra Bullock is star as Jill and Matt Dillon as Officer Ryan, the bastard. Don Cheeto is the Graham the detective. Brendan Franer is Rick, the fish guy. Terrance Howard is Cameron. Crash is a film maker of a fantastic city of Los Angeles, California. The film take a you outside the reality of fiction for the people need to make it double faced a all act in a normal routine in the simple life. You seen the movie Matt Dillon, the bastard officer, who have a father with blood in the urine system. No make a pee. She has a terrible problem. He does miss the occasion something funny. The guy you know. I work in factory. The film all the story are connected. The bastard officer, Matt Dillon, becoming a hero when he save a woman life that he was harassing. He pull hair from a car. Sandra Bullock, you know, maybe a good actor in the movie. She play a villain woman who a racist. She change her mind with a Mexican woman when she fall down the stair. Nobody help her. Different thing. The part of the movie that I like it the best was when the little kid got shot. She tried to save the dad. The dad making a lie very good lie say that the cap is magic so to protect against bullet. This is the best part and I like it.
This movie left this reviewer cold. Very cold.
Good Night, and Good Luck. (2005) Starring David Strathairn, Robert Downey Jr. Directed by George Clooney.
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Good Morning the movie that I saw was Goonight and Gooluck. In the movie David Straighthair as Edward R. Murrow. Robert Downey Jr. as Joe Wershbau and Patricia Clarson as Joe wife Sherly Weshbau. This movie is information for view America of the political confooshun. The creem supposed democratic and cummunish taking place early day the broadcast journalist 1950’s. Its chronicles the real lie over the conflict between Edward R. Murrow the Senator Josef McCarthy. It’s a real drama over the true information and disinformation with political and broadcast news and TB and radio in American and abroad. My best part was the movie finally ending. I threw a sock. I thought it sucked.
Final thoughts: Goonight and Gooluck left this reviewer cold.
Curious George (2006) Starring Drew Barrymore and Will Ferrell. Directed by Matthew O'Callaghan.
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The movie that I is saw this weekend was di animated fil Curious George. A movie a berry good movie because I was sol out in di fil theater I go. Maybe is berry good movie you know. The director is Mattio Callagan, Curious George is di adventor animation fil, it for all in di familty, especial, especially for the little guy in the house. Will Ferrel voice the main genojar, Drill Merrymore, Eugene Cross, Eugege Louis and many more are areso in di movie. In the movie you remember the old time with children. In dang see you know Curous George painting, I remember I see paint you know as a little shild I try to painting everything, you know. An e sang you know some bill fly you know I almo fly too you know. The sang George fly with the balloon. My faborite part in the movie is when, is raining and the guy the yellow hat you know, is sitting in the bench, the par and the Curious George you know under the tree in the little bed with the leaves you know coming down and car di guy coming is sleeping in the little bed he make it, it bery sweet part in this movie. The movie issa good movie to see with your family.
Final thoughts: The film left this reviewer cold.
Capote (2005) Starring Philip Seymour Hoffman and Catherine Keener. Directed by Bennett Miller.
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The movie I is saw was Capote. Issa star Philip Saymore Hogman es Trauman Caputee, Katarine Keener es Niel Harper Lee and Clinton Collier Junior es Terrias Meet the model. The fil es basa you know story about the model the four well know farm families, the Kluters, En Harthorne, Kansas en November 1959. What I was understand you know about the movie isa Trauman Capote isa famoose writer. He tried to write you know a book about the murder after he saw the information he saw it in the newspaper. Because Mr. Capote is in the investigation with the murder he make it with a combination feeling of compassion. After vehegution he saw Perry hanging in the road he make a big trauma and he did finalize the book. My favorite part you know in the movie is the vehagution. Capote never worked again.
Final thoughts: The Film left the reviewer cold. A couple time I is sleeping.
Glory Road (2006) Starring Josh Lucas and Jon Voight. Directed by James Gartner.
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The movie I am reviewer today is the Glory Road. It isy basaed on the true story and they changey ebreything. The Soutwest College en El Paso Tejas from 1965 to 1967. What this team maked little championship. It was the history of this team in El Paso Tejas. In the movie George Lucas played Don Jaquim, it's the coach you know and Derek Luket playes Bobby George Hill, is the best you know guy on the team like Kobe Bryant on the Lakers. My preferred part of this film is when the coach takes the determination in the only colored player in the team and they win in the championship. When the ready team accept you know the decision I saw you know the respect and the discipline in the team and the determoonation of the coach you know. Nobody play only the colored guy you know. This is the one more movie that show the racist inside American sports.
Final Thoughts: The film left this reviewer cold.
Hostel (2005) Starring Jay Hernandez, Derek Richardson. Directed by Eli Roth.
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The movie I was for this review was Hostile. The movie is set in Europe, in a little town in Asterdan. In angroflavia into vis tu con canney. Di producer des Quentin Tarrantino. Hostile es inspired by true ebents. Jay Hernandez play Parston is the hero in dis film. In the film you know they is resisting in the town all around corrupt government police people who ware in the Hostile and love the people in the town. This film is about two college guy looking for summer fun and diversion. They miss transformen is sohisticated internal hunk club, the most dangerous en extreme game. It's a relative with the fantasy, the Slovakian and European girl to maka the sex. The film 30 to 40 minutes the movie I saw was cheap, very cheap porno. The movie people you know go missing along with the documentation. They maked a lot like the crackhead ow do you hostile. You know missing the paper missing the people. My best part of this film is when Parston is kidnapping and they try to do the same thing to the Owen and Josh the best friend. The movie you know the tortue guy take a asture to kill and tortue. He uses the scissors to cut the hair you know for making trophy. And you know they making the play with the chainsaw and cutting off the two fingers in the hang you know.
Final thoughts: The Film left the reviewer cold.
BloodRayne (2006) Starring Krisitna Loken, Michelle Rodriguez, Ben Kingley. Directed by Uwe Boll.
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Its one movie you know about mystical and mythical cretures. Its you see the movie you are transported to the year 1725 Europe. Its takes a place in Transylbania around to the Dracula Castle. Christina Luki as the Rayne, that's the movies main character, is a good vampire. Her father is the lord of the airwool. During the movie Rayne had the protection for the Greystone society. Now these people are vampire. When Rayne grab the eyes, she now have the power. I hear father Juan Lord Cagan is back. Her father try and kill her and pull out the eyes. The movie is very exciting, and then is allowed the fight, sing, more fight, auto and knife. My favorite part in the movie is where Rayne go to the temple and get the eyes the power. In the wool she out she ower and cliss close in ebery direction, try to killer her. Mac Dabies make a good sac lesson lair from the vampire. The vampire not only sucks but he making other things, quote.
Final thoughts: The film left this reviewer cold, very cold.
